Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize