youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
