During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do vagina's smell?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
