turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
