Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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