Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
