No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
