You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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