i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
