He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
