this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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