He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
