Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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