I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
