you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
