Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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