The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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