I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
