your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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