Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think my mom watched the whole time
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
