I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
