So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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