6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
