Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
