is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize