this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
