Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize