pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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