she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
