Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
