my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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