Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
