I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
