Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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