Sry I called you an 8
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
