it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
