haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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