oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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