I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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