i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
