1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
