i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
