I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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