Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
