I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
