So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
