talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
