I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
