11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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