She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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