Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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