So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
