So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You are a genius and a whore.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
