The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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