I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's shark week go big or go home
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
