yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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