I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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