1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I queefed so loud it echoed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
