Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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