your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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