So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize