they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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