i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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