I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
