He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
