you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
