I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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