Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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